Parenthood Summed Up

Being a good parent is undoubtedly tough
The mountain path you’re on is pretty rough.
Every day, there’ll be parts that suck
That’s only because you give a f*&%.
 
It all starts when mummy becomes a whale
Stretch marks covering her from head to tail.
Daddy give back rubs and takes a lot of crap
Everyone really just wants wine on tap.
 
Your bundle of joy arrives covered in goo
Smelling of blood, wee-wee, mixed with poo.
Air-lifted out or squeezed through your vag
That obligatory photo better be in HELLO mag.
 
You’ve done your reading, you’re well prepared
Love is all you need to not be scared.
How different reality is from those books
What do you mean I can’t return him, you damned crooks!
 
As time goes on, lack of sleep is no biggy
When the kids are in bed, you can eat like a piggy.
Hugs and kisses will dry up all tears
You’ve gained wisdom beyond your years.
 
She throws food and he draws on the walls
He pulls her hair, she trips him up in the halls.
He melts your heart, you want to take away her pain
They’re the best things ever, but never again.
 
Your personal hygiene is on the backburner
The brat’s got attitude like Tina Turner.
No sleep for mummies and daddies get no rest
Take comfort in knowing you’re simply the best!
 
Whether you have an only, three or six
There’s nothing that a parent’s love can’t fix.
They’ll push your limits, you wish they’d move on
But you can’t explain the sadness once they’re gone.
 
You’re doing your best, that’s all you can do
Not new toys, your babies just need you.
They are our future, see how you affect
To all the parents out there: RESPECT!

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